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Tips For Improving Your Self-Perception

Today’s post is a follow up of a blog post I wrote about “Turning Anxiety Into a Super Power”. I mentioned that change in my self-perception was one of the changes I made in my life to overcome the worst of my mental health issues.

If you want to read the post I just mentioned click on the link below:

What is Perception?

Perception is how we view ourselves and how we view others.

Your perception of something is the way you think about it or how you feel about it. For example how you perceive the world and everything around you has a direct effect on your thoughts, actions and behavior.

Also, your thoughts, actions and behavior are directly affected by how you perceive yourself. 

What Is Self-Perception?

Self-Perception gives you an idea of who you are or who you think you are.

When you perceive yourself in a healthy way when you’re able to assess your strengths, weakness, talents and potential. Also, you have the ability to be honest with yourself, be true to who you are and take responsibility for your choices and action.

However, when you perceive yourself in an unhealthy way you may think you know yourself; you’re unsure of yourself and you tend to lie to yourself that everything is fine. 

What Problems Occur Due To Unhealthy Self-Perception?

Numerous problems occur due to unhealthy self-perception including:

  • Distorted Self-Esteem: Self esteem refers to self-worth or self-respect. When you perceive yourself in an unhealthy way you can have low self esteem that causes you to feel defeated and depressed, along with failing to live up to your full potential.
  • Anxiety: Unhealthy self perception leads to an anxious mindset that warps the way you view the world and reality. Symptoms of anxiety include feeling nervous and always have feelings of impending doom. Anxiety is an alarm for triggering your fight-or-flight response.
  • Guilt: When you perceive yourself in an unhealthy way you feel an unhealthy amount of guilt. This includes anything are beyond your control, such as feeling guilty about someone’s low opinion of you.
  • Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk is any inner self talk and it’s best known as your inner critic. It can cause you to have limiting beliefs about your abilities and it reduces your ability to make positive changes in your life or your confidence in yourself to do so.

How Do You Improve Your Self-Perception?

It’s important look at why you perceive yourself in an unhealthy way. Factors such as stressful life events such as divorce or illness, past trauma or abuse, half baked goals or mental health problems play a role in our self-perception. 

It is possible to face these problems and transform how you perceive yourself.

Tips For Improving Self-Perception

Here are Tips for Improving your self-perception:

  • Identify Your Perceptions: You can identify your perceptions by asking yourself certain questions. You’ll notice certain thoughts come to the surface that feel familiar or true to you. For example you can ask yourself a question such as “What do I always say about myself ?” thoughts pertaining to your self perception comes to the surface such as “I’m an a@#h&le”. Then it’s important to examine that perception you’ve identified and ask why it’s justified and why you think that way about yourself.
  • Listen To Your Inner Critic: It gets worse if you ignore or suppress your inner critic. Instead you should listen to your inner critic and take note of what it’s trying to tell you. At that point you have the opportunity to judge what your inner critic is trying to tell you, maybe it’s telling you to take the action you need to take.
  • Stop Ruminating: Rumination means to go over a negative thought or problem over and over. It’s important to keep your mind occupied if you start ruminating, along with learning about your triggers and question your thoughts.
  • Boost Your Self Esteem: There are a lot of ways to boost your self esteem. These include learning a new skill, challenging your limiting beliefs and stand at the edge of your comfort zone.
  • Get Outside Your Comfort Zone: Getting outside your comfort zone creates enough good stress to ramp up your focus, creativity and drive. It helps you to respond to life’s stresses when unexpected things happen.

Have You Ever Felt Like Your Self-Perception Affects Your Life?

Please Like And Comment!

If you’re suffering from anxiety please click on the button below to download your free anxiety expert guide:

Sources:

https://www.essentiallifeskills.net/self-concept.html

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-esteem-2795868

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160928-how-anxiety-warps-your-perception

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961

https://www.thefix.com/living-sober/toxic-guilt

https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304

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Overcoming Procrastination

What Does It Mean To Procrastinate?

Procrastination refers to the action of delaying or postponing tasks. This is especially true for tasks that need to be accomplished by a certain deadline.

Why Do People Procrastinate?

Procrastination often occurs due to being afraid to fail at the tasks that need to be completed. 

It could be a habitual or an intentional delay of starting or finishing a task despite knowing it might have negative consequences. 

For some people procrastination might be a symptom of a mental disorder. It’s been linked to depression, irrational behavior, low self-esteem and anxiety, which are associated with disorders such as ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and even bipolar disorder.

Procrastination has many consequences attached to it. It not only causes serious stress and illness, but it also causes self sabotage that can ruin your chances at success.

What Are Some Signs Of Procrastination?

Whether it’s habitual or intentional, or due to mental illness there are many signs of procrastination to look out for. 

Signs Include:

  • Having Uncertain Goals: Even if you’re not diagnosed with a mental illness having uncertain goals can trigger fear and anxiety, which lead to procrastination. However, if you’re certain of what your goals are you’ll have less fear.
  • Hard Time Concentrating:  Whether it’s from lack of sleep, stress or a short attention span you’re more prone to procrastination when you have a hard time concentrating.
  • Making Excuses: It’s a sign of procrastination if you’re making excuses for not finishing a task.
  • Being A Perfectionist: Perfectionists have a fear of being unable to finish a task perfectly.
  • Limiting Beliefs: There are a lot of limiting beliefs around both fear and guilt that can stop you from completing a task. For example “I fear that I’m good enough to finish this assignment”!
  • Setting Unrealistic Goals: When you set unrealistic goals you’ll set yourself up for disappointment. Then it can lead to fear of failure which can cause you to put off tasks.
  • Feeling Anxious: It’s interesting to note that anxiety and procrastination go hand in hand. When you’re feeling anxious about something, you’ll put it off.
  • Unstable Moods: Having conditions such as bipolar disorder can lead to unstable moods. It’s hard to stay focused and get a task done on time when moods are hard to regulate.
  • Fear Of Failure: Setting unrealistic goals and facing disappointment can lead to a fear of failure. You’ll find yourself putting off things because you’re afraid of failing again.

How To Overcome Procrastination?

  • Promise Yourself An Award: When you finally complete a difficult task you should reward yourself. If you like coffee, buy yourself one as an award.
  • Get Plenty Of Sleep: If you’re having trouble focusing and keep putting things off, it could be something as simple as not getting enough sleep. When you get enough sleep you’ll be able to focus better.
  • Rephrase Your Internal Dialogue: Your inner dialogue may be telling you “you have to” complete that task and it’s making you stressed and anxious. Try reframing the thought into something more empowering, for example say “you want to” instead.
  • Minimize Distractions: It helps to minimize distractions so you can complete a task. This includes turning off social media, email and television.
  • Improve Mood Management: There was an interesting study done about procrastination. It concluded that it is more about emotional management rather than time management. For example you may avoid a certain task because it’s associated with a negative emotion and unless you face that emotion the task will never be finished.
  • Letting Go Of Perfectionism: Learning how to let go of perfection is important for overcoming procrastination. Start by letting go of unrealistic expectations, practice self-care and stop obsessing over what others think of you.

If you’re interested in reading a previous post about overcoming fear please click on the button below:

How To You Overcome Procrastination?

Please Like and Comment!

Sources:

http://literacy.kent.edu/salt_fork/time_priority/timemanagement/procrastination.html

https://www.medicinenet.com/difficulty_concentrating/symptoms.htm#:~:text=Difficulty%20concentrating%20is%20a%20normal,how%20we%20think%20and%20concentrate.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201908/how-recognize-anxiety-induced-procrastination

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm

https://www.postpartumhh.com/blog/3-steps-to-letting-go-of-perfectionism

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Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs was the topic of my previous blog post. They’re assumptions or perceptions about ourselves and the world around us that constrain us in some way. They shape our lives and they cause problems for our mental health, but we can overcome limiting beliefs.

How Are Limiting Beliefs Shaped?

These Include:

  • Past Trauma
  • Family Belief Systems
  • Relationships With Friends or Significant Others

It was past trauma caused by bullying and betrayal while growing up. However, I took steps to overcome that limiting belief.

Identifying The Limiting Belief

The first step I took was to identify a limiting belief that wasn’t serving me, “I can’t be my real self or I’ll be judged”. When I was growing up it was a struggled to fit in when I was in school.

The long-term effects of bullying include experiencing a wide range of emotions. These include feeling angry, bitterness, vulnerable, helplessness, frustrated, lonely and being isolated from your peers. The longer you’re bullied the odds of being depressed and anxious increases. Also, you develop self-esteem issues and can lead to social anxiety.

I wrote a post about how to overcome social anxiety. If you like to view it please click on the button below. This post describes social anxiety in more detail and on a deeper level.

Challenge The Limited Belief

The next step was to challenge my limiting belief. I started to become aware that it was not factual, I just believed it was factual. For example I believed that a friendship would fall apart just like when I was in school.

I examined the so-called facts and found that I blew them out of proportion and shaped them to form a false narrative.

When this happened I started to overcome social anxiety by questioning that false narrative.

Replace The Limiting Belief

The next step is to replace your old limiting belief with a new one. I’m using my own experience as an example. I identified and challenged my belief, “I can’t be my self or I’ll be judged”, and replaced it with, “It isn’t my job to please other people”. By doing this you’ll feel like a different person, however it’s important to strengthen your new belief.

How To Strengthen Your New Empowering Belief?

Our beliefs shape our identities and our behaviors. Also, our habits as well.

When you’re transitioning into your new belief you may feel fear and resistance. This may trigger an automatic urge to do an old habit. For example, if the transition is difficult you may find yourself engaging in negative self-talk such as “This is impossible” or “What’s the point” and then give up.

It’s interesting to note that giving up is not a habit. However, you may not be aware that you’re giving up because of habits such as fear of failure, underestimating yourself or others, procrastination or laziness.

When you become aware of these habits it’s important to identify them, challenge them and replace them. For example if you’re underestimating yourself it’s best to look into why you see yourself in that way. Then take action toward changing this habit by assessing your strengths, weaknesses and talents that make you more aware of your abilities or skill up your abilities.

Conclusion

It’s important to identify, challenge and replace a limiting belief. Also, change the bad habits that get in the way of your new empowering belief.

If you’re suffering from anxiety please click on the button below and download my free anxiety expert guide:

Sources: 

https://personalexcellence.co/blog/limiting-beliefs/

https://www.verywellfamily.com/bullying-impact-4157338

https://www.fastcompany.com/3058647/5-habits-to-get-over-self-limiting-beliefs

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Limiting Beliefs In A Nutshell

In my previous post the topic was about improving your unhealthy self-perception. However, I’d like to discuss something that’s a reflection of how you see yourself. I’m referring to limiting beliefs.

When you perceive or see yourself in a healthy way you’re more aware of who you are as a person. For example you’re more aware of your strengths, weaknesses, talents and potential and you take responsibilities for your thoughts and actions.

However, when you see yourself in an unhealthy way you’re more likely to be unsure of yourself and your abilities. This can manifest itself as a toxic belief system that inhibits your growth as a person.

If you want to refer back to my last post, please click on the button below:

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are assumptions or perceptions about ourselves and the world around us that constrain us in some way.

We’re unaware that we end up impoverishing our lives when we follow these beliefs and this is due to a number of negative effects. They can keep us from making good decisions, taking advantage of new opportunities or reaching our full potential. 

Limiting beliefs leave you stuck in a negative state of mind. They prevent you from living the life you want. However, have you wondered where limiting beliefs come from?

Where Do Limiting Beliefs Come From?

Different things that happen in our lives shape our limiting beliefs. 

Things that shape limiting beliefs include the following: 

Past Trauma: Something traumatic that happens to you as a child can remain stuck in your psyche. When this happens it’s like a record that skips and stops you in the same place over and over.

Your Family’s Belief System: The belief system of your family plays a role in how you view and interact with the world. For example if you’re from a family that values playing it safe in life you might be convinced that you’re not good enough to any other path.

Expectations From Family: You’re raised with certain expectations. For example you’re expected to go to college and get a 9 to 5 after graduation because it’s a safe option. However, you’re more interested in starting your own business, but underlying guilt about meeting expectations and fear of judgement from family can leave you feeling stuck.

Relationships With Friends and Significant Others: Limiting beliefs can impact how you view the world. For example if you were bullied as a child in school, betrayed by a friend or were cheated on by a significant other it causes you to see all people as untrustworthy.

Types Of Limiting Beliefs

According to Inc.com there are 3 types of limiting beliefs. 

Unhealthy Beliefs About Yourself:

When you conclude that you’re a failure that won’t amount to anything in life, this belief will prevent you from being your best self.

Unhealthy Beliefs About Others:

There are limiting beliefs about everyone being out to get you, everyone is untrustworthy or manipulative it can be impossible to develop relationships.

Unhealthy Beliefs About The World:

If you believe that you can’t succeed, because the world is unfair and scary, then it will take a toll on you and make you feel stuck.

In my next post I’ll be offering tips for changing your limiting beliefs and this will include the story of my personal transformation after changing mine.

Have You Ever Had Limiting Beliefs?

Please Like and Comment!

If you’re suffering from anxiety please click on the button below to download my free anxiety expert guide:

Sources:

http://changingminds.org/explanations/belief/limiting_beliefs.htm

https://business.tutsplus.com/tutorials/what-are-self-limiting-beliefs–cms-31607

https://www.lifehack.org/858652/limiting-beliefs

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/3-types-of-unhealthy-beliefs-that-will-drain-your-mental-strength-make-you-less-effective.html

https://tomillama.com/blog/limiting-beliefs

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Feeling Stuck In Life (Part.2): Tips For Overcoming Stuckness

In my previous post I was discussing what it meant to feel stuck in life and why you feel stock. In today’s post I’ll be offering practical tips for overcoming the feeling of stuckness.

Why Do Some People Stay Stuck?

Many people end up staying stuck and unhappy for many reasons.

Reasons may include liking or depending on the financial stability that their job provides, they may fear change or fear failure and they may not have the education or resources to make a change.

However, there are some simple and realistic ways of getting unstuck.

Tips For Becoming Unstuck

Letting Go Of The Past: Holding on to the past, whether it’s unresolved baggage from a bad relationship, a past job or from a bad financial decision can cause us to sabotage ourselves when we start asking ourselves “What If” questions. If we look back at these memories and learn from them then let them go we can set ourselves free from baggage.

Change Your Perspective:  After letting go of the past it helps to take a break from your current situation whether you like to hike, go fishing or meditate to clear your mind in order to gain a new perspective about your life. You’ll notice that you no longer feel stuck when you learn how to perceive your life in a different way.

Take Baby Steps: Remember that small baby steps can become big things. For example, you can start reflecting on your life and start working toward what you truly want, instead of what other people want.

Explore Your Purpose: Your life purpose is what makes you feel alive. I’m referring to the you’re passionate about including a job that you enjoy doing, helping others reach their full potential or growing as a human.

Consider Hiring A Life Coach: The benefits of hiring a life coach include getting help with providing clarity, commitment and visioning your success, along with encouraging self-reflection and providing strategies and goals to suit your needs.

Learn How To Believe In Yourself Again: We learn how to believe in ourselves as we develop the courage to face inevitable obstacles, rather than getting discouraged and feeling defeated when an obstacle knocks us down.

Practice Being Hopeful: We might feel stuck, because of feelings of protective pessimism brought on by having a lot of disappointments in your life. However, when you need to change and overcome this negative way of thinking it helps to practice something that inspires hope. These include meditation, prayer or reading inspirational books.

Seek Professional Help: Some people might feel stuck because of an underlying mental health problem such as depression. I know from experience that episodes of depression can cause a change in how you perceive your life. If this is a problem that persists see a medical professional.

Conclusion 

The topic of today’s post came up a lot in conversations among my peers. Some of them are deeply indebted because of student loans, some are struggling to find affordable housing to buy or rent and others feel like they’re stuck because of lack of job satisfaction. 

There have been plenty of times in my life in which I felt stuck. I felt stuck after graduating college, because of underemployment and unsure about whether my chosen field was a good fit. I ended up going back to night school to study subjects such as college physics, computer programming and biology. Taking this small step eventually led to a better job. Its possible to not feel stuck anymore when you have the willingness to take action regardless of your situation.

Have You Gotten Stuck in Your Life?

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If your struggling with anxiety please click on the link below and download my free anxiety expert guide:

Sources:

https://www.simplemindfulness.com/letting-go-is-hard/

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Becoming Mindful of Success, Part.1 (Factors That Lead To Overall Success)

This will be the first of a two part post about success.

What is Success?


Success is defined as the accomplishment of a goal or purpose. It can also refer to a person or thing that achieves a desired goal or attains prosperity. It’s important for boosting confidence, security, a sense of well-being, hope and leadership. 

Examples of Success?

Success means different things to different people. It’s the achievement of something desired; whether it’s weath, happiness or well-being.


Examples of Success include:

  • Having a great job
  • Having a happy marriage
  • Having a lot of money
  • Finally being able to finish a puzzle
  • Successfully overcoming an anxiety disorder
  • Successfully losing 50 pounds

What Factors Lead To Success?

We live in a world where success is measured mainly through money; this is the first thing that comes to mind when we think of success and for a lot of people it’s the only way success is measured. Material success is important; it drives creativity along with economic and social advancement. 

However, it’s important to be aware that when money becomes the only criterion to measure success other factors are overlooked such as your happiness, well-being and wisdom that contribute to an overall successful life.


Some factors that are overlooked include:


Courage During Adversity: Adversity is discouraging and exhausting. It can leave us overwhelmed by fear and unable to move forward. Courage is the ability to do something you fear and by having the courage to face adversity you’re on your way to success.

Self-Control: Success can be due to the amount of self-control you have. Have you ever tried losing weight and changing your diet, but at the same time struggling with compulsive eating? If you have enough self-control you can successfully change your habits and lose weight.


Level of Learning and Knowledge: Successful people are always learning new things and they are knowledgeable in a wide array of disciplines. It’s a myth that learning stops when you finish school and the more you learn the more successful you become.


Life Satisfaction and Good Health: Increasing your life satisfaction and feeling fulfilled leads to a happy and successful life. This can be achieved by focusing on the positive, relieving stress and not being afraid to take out for yourself. There is nothing more important for achieving success than good health; whether it’s good physical health or good mental health where anxiety is at a minimum.


Spiritual Success: Spiritual success means being in touch with who you truly are and it can refer to our character and integrity. It can also refer to the qualities of our success such as discipline, honesty, loyalty and love.


Where Have You Found Success in Your Life?

Please Like and Comment!

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/importance-of-success_b_837924

https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/2013-12/25/content_17194820.htm

https://fac.ksu.edu.sa/adalayed/publication/66617

https://www.australianacademicpress.com.au/aap_blog/post/courage-in-adversity

https://lifehacker.com/success-is-controlling-how-you-spend-your-time-1682657639

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-be-successful-in-life-4165743

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Gaining Courage in the Face of Fear

What is Courage?


Courage is the ability to do something that frightens you. It is the strength you need to face pain or grief and the strength in the face of a tornado, an earthquake or the global coronavirus pandemic.

The word courage originated from the Old French word “corage”, from the Latin word “cor”, which means ”heart”.

Why is Courage Important?


Courage is important if you want to begin something that you want to do or when you have to face a crisis. It allows you to act despite being fearful.

Courage is important for putting aside your fear of failure; especially if you have to venture off into the unknown or if you want to go for what you want. It’s important for overcoming anxiety characterized by the fear of rejection or self doubt caused by negative self talk.

Courage is more important than confidence. Confidence is very important; it comes from believing you can do something, but courage on the other hand is doing something despite being fearful.

Courage and Confidence are like yin and yang, because they depend on one another. Without courage we never develop confidence and a confident person can be brought down when facing a crisis if it weren’t for courage.

Examples of Courage?


Courage can come in all shapes and forms. It could come from you standing up for someone who’s being bullied, asking your crush on a date, racing into a burning building to save someone’s life or being courageous in the face of the coronavirus pandemic.

We’ve been seeing 24/7 news coverage of the coronavirus pandemic. There’s been more of an emphasis on the negative things that many people have been doing in reaction to this crisis including attacking other people for their toilet paper or bottled water or the spreading of misinformation. 

How about the awesome people who’ve been courageous since this crisis started? 

There hasn’t been enough said about the moral courage from the doctors, nurses and other medical staff in the face of the intense challenges they’ve been facing and the one’s they’re facing right now. 

Dr Helen Chu?

It was reported that in Seattle, Washington of epidemiologist Dr. Helen Chu demonstrated great moral courage by reporting critical data to health officials despite being told by federal authorities not to. There was a group of study participants she wanted to test for coronavirus to determine if it had arrived in Washington state, however she was denied authorization. 

Despite being denied Dr. Chu still had an ethical obligation and went ahead with the testing anyway and found a teenager had tested positive for the virus despite not traveling abroad or contact history, demonstrating community spread. This information was sent to a public health official just before this teen was sent back to school. Even after all that the federal government served her with a cease and desist order. 

Volunteers Rescuing Pets?

Here is a more lighthearted example of courage.  There was a news story from Spain that I saw about pets that were left behind due to their owners getting sick with the coronavirus. A group of volunteers from the kindness of their hearts looked after these abandoned pets. If and when their owners recover and are released from the hospital they will be reunited with their pets.

How To Become More Courageous?


The examples written above show why courage is a universally admired quality that’s very important to have. 

Ways To Become More Courageous Include:

  • Face The Fear of the Unknown: Becoming more courageous can be as simple as finding the cause of your fear, questioning what the cause of it is, accepting it, riding the wave of fear and learning to embrace change.
  • Use Relaxation Techniques: Fear can be paradoxal; a little bit of fear can amp you up and transform you into your best self and at the same time too much fear can shut you down and leave you stuck. It’s important to keep your physiological responses in check and this can be achieved by using relaxation techniques such as tactical breathing and mindful meditation.
  • Learn New Skills: There are many scenarios that involve risk and danger, it pays to develop a wide range of skills such as self-defense and first aid, to automotive repair and the ability to speak a foreign language. The more knowledge of what to do when trouble arises the braver a person you will be.
  • Think of Yourself Less: The more egocentric you are, the more scared you’re going to get about taking action. Egocentrism can lead to someone becoming more self-conscious about what other people think of them when and if they make a decision. This way of thinking leads to fear and anxiety that leads to decision paralysis and inaction.
  • Form Closer Relationships: Being from a culture that’s individualized and atomized (fragmented) we’re taught that drawing strength from being part of a group is something that’s negative. In reality it can be the opposite, because having close friends and family can cause you to act in a more positive and courageous way when a crisis occurs.
  • Do Something New Once a Week: At least once a week engage in something that will make a little nervous or scared in order to keep you outside your comfort zone. This can include something simple as eating out at a restaurant that is unfamiliar, hiking on an unfamiliar trail, traveling to an unfamiliar place or studying something that is challenging.
  • Lean Into Your Role: An effective way to become less self-conscious is to start thinking about the actions you need to take to transition into your more courageous self. Overtime when you lean into the role that you need to be to help others it’s no longer just about you.

How Courageous Are You?

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If you’re struggling with fear please click on the button below:

Sources:

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/courage-a-matter-of-the-heart/

https://medium.com/better-humans/why-courage-is-more-important-than-confidence-f97865efc930