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Tips For Stopping Self-Hatred

What Is Self-Hatred?

Self-hatred means that you don’t love yourself.

It makes you feel like you’re not good enough. Also, it causes you to feel anxious and depressed.

Self sabotage and other bad behaviors, along with not living the life you want happens when you don’t love yourself.

What Causes Self-Hatred?

Self-hatred comes from a downward spiral of bad self-esteem that has many causes.

Trauma

Trauma can lead to self-hatred. If you’ve been through trauma you might see the world differently. You might view the world as unsafe and see other people as dangerous.

It can feel safer to attack yourself over what happened. It might be hard to accept that bad things happen randomly in the world.

Mental Illness

Bipolar disorder or PTSD have symptoms that include self-hatred. If it happens during episodes of bipolar depression, you may start believing things about your life that aren’t true.

It’s Part Of Our Culture

We’re taught to compare ourselves with others at an early age. We’re made to feel self-hatred if we don’t live up to a culture’s half-baked pipe dreams .

Feeling Stuck

Being in a place in your life you don’t want to be makes you feel stuck. It’s a feeling that leaves you anxious and scared. Also, you end up comparing yourself to others due to self-hatred.

Please Click Here To Learn More About Getting Unstuck:

How Self-Hatred Can Ruin Your Life?

Feeling self-hatred causes anxiety that can lead to bad behaviors.

In order to deal with or numb the anxiety you may end up cutting or damaging your skin. Eating disorders and drug abuse are other ways to attack your body. It’s also possible to have suicidal thoughts.

Self-hatred and it’s bad behaviors cause you to isolate yourself. When this happens you hide your state of mind. Then you feel ashamed and feel even worse than before.

After a while you feel that you don’t deserve to be happy. This causes you to avoid things that make you happy such as eating good food, having good friends or having self respect.

How To Stop Self-Hatred?

It’s hard to avoid comparing yourself to others. You probably do it all the time at work, with your friends or on social media.

Overtime you might feel like you’re not good enough. Comparing yourself to others might trigger feelings of self-hatred.

Here are some tips to stop self-hatred:

Pay Attention To Any Triggers

Self-hatred can be brought on by triggers. If your life is stressful due to work stress or money problems it can trigger anxiety.

Anxiety can lead to unwanted thoughts and self-doubt. When this happens you might start comparing yourself to others.

When you become aware of what triggers anxiety you can stop self-hatred.

Tame your Self Critic

Self-hatred might be due to unwanted thoughts from your inner voice. Take a step back and let these thoughts pass. If that doesn’t work you might need to be treated by a doctor.

Look At Your Strengths

Look at your strengths to stop self-hatred.

Your strengths may include what you’re already good at. If you have to ask someone you know what they think.

Sources:

https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-stop-self-hatred-4164280#:~:text=Self%20loathing%20is%20extreme%20criticism,of%20good%20things%20in%20life.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-hatred

https://www.google.com/search?q=feel+stuck+and+self+hatred&client=safari&sxsrf=ALeKk01NLVh3bAK4dCqU14hx7XYpmPFH4w:1610579645858&ei=vX7_X-3sM7Cp5NoPiY2ayAk&start=10&sa=N&ved=2ahUKEwitv7HdhJruAhWwFFkFHYmGBpkQ8tMDegQIBxA2&biw=1440&bih=820

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/unrealistic-expectations#:~:text=If%20you%20say%20that%20someone,something%20they%20want%20to%20achieve.

https://mind.se/en/information/related-conditions/self-hatred-destructiveness/#:~:text=How%20does%20this%20affect%20a,punish%20the%20body%20as%20well.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/anxiety/symptoms-causes/syc-20350961

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Rediscovering Self Confidence After A Setback

Life is strange! 

Sometimes you win and other times you lose. 

When life is going well you feel good about yourself.

Life also throws you curveballs that set you back.

Most setbacks are minor and don’t throw your life off track. They include being turned down for a promotion, being rejected by a love interest or having a cold.

Major setbacks happen and interrupt your progress. They keep you from succeeding and leave you feeling stuck.

What Are Some Examples Of Major Setbacks?

Job Loss

Losing your job is stressful. It’s a major setback to leave the workforce due to obsolete job skills.

Financial Setbacks

It’s hard to have a financial setback. Especially if you can no longer make ends meet.

Divorce/End Of Relationship

A divorce/end of relationship is a major setback. It’s a financial and emotional one.

Unexpected Expenses

These are expenses you don’t see coming.

You might have a medical emergency and have to go to the ER. Also, you might need emergency surgery.

Major Illness

Dealing with a health setback is taught. It can be diabetes or even bipolar disorder.

Consequences Of Setbacks?

Life altering setbacks can make you feel stuck. You may end up feeling defeated, doubting yourself and having less self-confidence.

Major Setbacks can be damaging to your self-esteem. They can lead to down a downward spiral. When this happens it can make a situation worse.

How To Rebuild Your Self-Confidence?

Setbacks, whether they alter your life or not are a part of life.

You’re going to face adversity. Instead of letting your baggage get the best of you, it’s important to see a setback as a time to take action.

Tips For Bouncing Back:

Take Your Time

Overcoming a major setback doesn’t happen overnight. It may take months or even years to achieve.

Meanwhile take some time to work on yourself. This can be achieved by eating the right foods, exercising and reflecting on past mistakes.

Challenge Limiting Beliefs

When you’re feeling stuck you may see yourself in an unhealthy way. Unhealthy beliefs about yourself hold you back.

Challenging these beliefs puts us in a better life state and help us overcome setbacks.

Please click below to learn more about overcoming limiting beliefs:

Be Grateful

Gratitude is a warm feeling of thankfulness toward the world, or toward specific people.

When you’re grateful you feel thankful for what you have.

Surround Yourself With The Right People

Surround yourself with people who love and support you. They help you to move pass a setback, along with making you happy.

How Do You Overcome Challenging Setbacks?

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Please Click Here To Down A Copy Of, “10 Coping Strategies For Bipolar Disorder”:

Sources:

https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2015/02/how-to-handle-setbacks

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/how-to-bounce-back-when-you-lose-it-all/

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Coping With Post-2020 Chaos

In the aftermath of 2020 there’s going to be a lot of uncertainty ahead. 

It’s not the same world as it was just a year ago. What was a world of order and certainty is now being replaced with a new one of chaos and uncertainty. 

What Is Chaos?

Chaos means to be completely confused or disordered. To be chaotic is to be someone or something that’s disorganized or lacking order. 

The events of 2020 including the COVID-19 pandemic plunged our world into chaos. It led to uncertainty and panic that intensified anxiety in a short period of time.

The future effects of COVID-19 include more uncertainty and chaos from changes in the world including the economy, how we live and that the pandemic may not end anytime soon.

It’s important to learn how to cope with chaos. If you don’t it will be really hard to move forward in a new world.

Why Coping With Chaos Is Important?

So far the twenty-first century has been the century of chaos. It was already unpredictable to begin with changes in technology and changes in the economy.

 We live in a time where we’re bombarded with new information flooding the brain, new technologies, new obstacles at work and thousands of choices. The chaos that’s created leaves us feeling frustrated, irritable, angry, tired and anxious.

The COVID-19 pandemic has added to the chaos and caused our world to unravel.

We all imagine being back in a simpler time as a way of coping. However, the reality is that the simple time we imagine is never coming back.

What we can do is learn how to cope with the chaos around us.

Tips For Coping With Chaos

Some people who suffer from chronic mental illness their minds are already chaotic. They’ve lived with chaos for so long that they feel calmer in a crisis. Sometimes they feel uncomfortable, restless and aimless when the crisis is averted. 

It gets easier for them when they learn how to manage their chaotic minds.

There are things that we can all learn to cope with chaos:

Have A Plan To Cope With Stress

An important plan to have is to take care of yourself. This could mean eating healthy, exercising, getting plenty of sleep and giving yourself a break when you’re stressed out. A healthy body is more resilient in the face of uncertainty and chaos.

Also, it helps to have close friends and family to talk to when things get tough.

It’s important to recognize when you need help.

Cope With Stress By Redirecting Your Energy

Stress can go away on its own. However when it’s caused by emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy or fear it can linger.

We need to do more than just take a step back. Instead we’re going to need to channel those negative emotions into something more positive and productive.

We can channel our energies by learning something new like a new skill or writing out what’s stressing us out. Also, we can put our energies into making our lives more orderly by cleaning our homes.

Energy can be redirected into simple pleasures such as love making with a willing partner.

Find A Peaceful Moment

In order to minimize stress in chaotic times it’s important to find a peaceful moment.

It’s important to set limits by establishing boundaries. It’s essential for asserting your needs, more time and energy is freed up for self care and there’s less anger and resentment.

Learn To Anticipate Future Uncertainty

We live in an uncertain world that grows more uncertain everyday. It’s important to learn how to cope with it.

Being intolerant of uncertainty causes problems. It puts our nervous systems on high alert and triggers our fight or flight response.

Uncertainty can leave us fearful, anxious and powerless. It leads us into a trap of endless “what ifs” and worst case scenarios about the future. This way of thinking is not only unproductive, it’s unhealthy also.

It’s important to learn about uncertainty tolerance. This includes learning about the nature of fear and anxiety, along with making critical thinking skills stronger. It’s also important to learn how to roll with things you can’t control.

It’s important to acknowledge that “shit happens”!

If you like to learn more about the nature of fear please click below:

How Do You Cope With Chaos?

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Sources:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/chaos

https://wallstreetinsanity.com/23-ways-to-positively-redirect-stress/

https://americanbrainsociety.org/how-to-cope-with-covid-19-chaos-if-you-suffer-from-an-anxiety-disorder/

https://www.apa.org/topics/stress-uncertainty

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Applying 2020 Lessons To Your Life

The year 2020 was described as being a “Dumpster Fire”!

The term “Dumpster Fire” describes something that’s a colossal mess. It’s something that no one wants to deal with and makes someone very anxious.

Year Of Intense Anxiety

Intense anxiety affected us all over and over again in 2020. 

From fear over COVID-19 to the isolating effects of social distancing fed the dumpster fire. Also, social and political unrest, natural disasters and financial struggles have fed it even more.

Many people have never experienced mental health issues like anxiety until 2020. Also, they’re very anxious about what 2021 is going to bring. 

Anxious Before 2020

There are a lot of people who’ve been living with an anxiety disorder, long before 2020.

For some their symptoms got worse, but for a few symptoms improved. 

Those few sufferers felt equipped to handle the present. They took the time and effort to work on their mental health and they also learned valuable life lessons along the way.

Life Lessons For Coping With A New World

The year 2020 has taught us many lessons to live by. These are the same lessons that chronic anxiety sufferers live by.

Life Lessons Include:

Self-Care Is A Priority, Not A Privilege

It’s hard to put yourself first. You have to pay attention to work, your family and other obligations.

Self Care is the attention paid to yourself in the spirit of growth and wellness. It’s important for staying healthy.

It’s often seen as a luxury. At times it’s mistaken for self-absorption and “me first”. However, self-care is really an important necessity for taking care of yourself, so you can take care of others.

Failure Is Inevitable For Success

Small or big changes in our lives happen that tear us down and cause us to fail.

Failure might make us feel unworthy for not succeeding. I got news for you, it’s an inevitable part of life.

Instead of seeing failure as a bad thing it’s important to see it differently. Failure should remind you to approach a goal in a different way based on the lessons you’ve learned. You might end up reemerging stronger than ever.

Things Aren’t Always What They Seem

Staying open minded is important, because things aren’t always what they seem.

Sometimes people, situations and certain events end up being different that how we see them. It comes to show that how you see a situation is neither correct, nor your beliefs are well adjusted.

Our minds have a habit of jumping to conclusions and rushing into things.

Be Intentional With Everything You Do

What does this mean? It means to live with intention, which means to consciously choose to create the life you want.

It also means to not have your life dictated by other people. Instead you do everything with a clear purpose and focus.

Listen To Your Gut Instinct

A gut feeling is something only you experience. It’s a personal feeling that no one else can weigh in on except you.

Often, its anxiety that comes as tightness in your chest or stomach.

It’s an intuition that tells you that a situation is off. Listening to it helps you avoid unhealthy relationships and situations.

Don’t Waste Your Time With People And Things That Don’t Add Value To Your Life

This is very important. It makes anxiety worse when you spend time with the wrong people. They’ll not only add zero value to your life, they also make your anxiety worse.

Please Click Below To Learn About Turning Anxiety Into A Superpower:

How Did 2020 Affect You?

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Sources:

https://www.psychiatry.org/newsroom/news-releases/anxiety-poll-2020

https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/treating-pandemic-wave-anxiety-depression-requires-team-effort

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6932a1.htm#:~:text=The%20coronavirus%20disease%202019%20(,same%20period%20in%202019.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/people-say-anxiety-changed-2020_l_5f7f3914c5b664e5baba8de3

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-illness-in-america/202001/making-self-care-priority

https://exploringyourmind.com/stay-open-minded-things-arent-what-they-seem/

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Overcoming Sleep Problems When You’re Bipolar!

A core symptom of bipolar disorder is sleep problems. The emotional state you’re in determines which sleep problem occurs.

If you’re manic or hypomanic you may feel like you need less sleep. Overtime you may develop insomnia.

What Is Insomnia?

Insomnia is the inability to fall asleep and also to remain asleep long enough to feel rested.

Manic episodes can cause you to experience symptoms such as:

  • Elevated Mood
  • Inflated Self-Esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Racing Thoughts
  • Increase In Goal-Driven Activity
  • Trouble Focusing

All these symptoms can contribute to insomnia. Sometimes mania can cause you to stay awake for more than 24 hours or only sleep 3 hours a night.

Insomnia not only leads to worsening anxiety, daytime fatigue and trouble concentrating, it’s also an indicator of a coming depressive episode.

Insomnia Makes Depression Worse

If you don’t get the recommended 7 to 9 hours of sleep it can take a toll on your mental health. It can heavily influence your outlook on life, energy level, motivation and emotions.

If you have bipolar disorder insomnia brought on by mania can lead to depressive episodes that make you feel so low that you won’t want to get out of bed and end up sleeping too much.

How To Manage Mania So You Can Sleep Better?

The key to managing bipolar mania is to practice good sleep hygiene.

Good Sleep Hygiene Tips Include:

  • Create a Schedule: It’s important to have a regular sleep schedule. Establish a regular time to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning. Having a regular sleep schedule is one of the easiest ways to practice good sleep hygiene.
  • Optimize Your Bedroom: Try to make your bedroom as comfortable as possible. This includes having a bed that’s right for you along with a pillow that’s right for you. It’s also important if you eliminate light, noise and other distractions.
  • Limit Other Activities: Make sure your bedroom is for sleeping only. Try to limit activities such as watching TV, texting on your smart phone or working on your laptop in your bedroom. It’s interesting to note that electronics emit blue light trick your brain that the sun is still out and this makes it hard to fall asleep.
  • Adjust Your Diet And Exercise: There are many things you should avoid before bed including alcohol and coffee as well as a big meal. Also, you should keep a few hours between exercise and bed. Exercise can make it easier to sleep, but it can also energize you as well.
  • Take Time To Relax: It’s important to read to take time to relax before bedtime. Try reading a book or try meditating before turning off the lights. If you want to learn more about meditation please click on the button below:

Have You Ever Had Trouble Falling Asleep or Staying Asleep?

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If you’re feeling stuck in life, have limiting beliefs about yourself or negative thinking is holding you back please click on the button below and download my ebook:

Sources:

https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/insomnia-symptoms-and-causes

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3321357/

https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/sleep

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The Importance of Social Connections

In our busy world it’s a challenge to balance work and life. We focus on school, hobbies and self-care, but we end up neglecting our social connections. Whether they’re with your family, friends, co-workers or social media support groups are more important than you realize.

When you’re able to connect with another human being it has many benefits you may not be aware of. 

Benefits Include:

  • Lower Anxiety and Depression
  • Help You Regulate Emotions
  • Higher Self-Esteem
  • Higher Empathy
  • Improves Your Immune System

When you neglect your need to connect with others your health is at risk, including your mental health.

Bipolar Disorder and Isolation

Lack of social connection leads to isolation and loneliness. 

If you have Bipolar Disorder; feeling isolated and lonely are among the most powerful triggers of depressive episodes.

A lot of people with bipolar disorder are unaware that they have isolating tendencies. 

Feeling isolated is a trigger for a depressive episode. Also, anxiety caused by hypomania can be the beginning of an episode as well. 

Becoming Aware Is The First Step

If you have bipolar disorder you’ll have periods of feeling overly happy and energized. When this happens you might become the life of the party. However, as mentioned before when you’re overly happy and energized due to hypomania anxiety can occur before a depressive episode. 

When this happens you may unconsciously withdraw from your social connections. It’s important to realize that self-isolation can make your depressive episodes worse. 

Even when you’re not up to it, it’s important to stay connected, because it helps to keep your depressive symptoms to a minimum.

Tips For Staying Connected

Social connections can be difficult to maintain if you have bipolar disorder. Simply having someone to talk to face-to-face can be an enormous help when you’re having a depressive episode. The people you turn to should be great listeners, instead of trying to fix you. Also, the more people you can turn to the better. 

Remember! Reaching out to others is not a sign of weakness. 

Here are some tips to keep you connected:

Don’t Isolate Yourself:

Keep in regular contact with your friends and loved ones who are supportive. Remember that you can trigger depression when you self-isolate.

Build New Relationships:

If you don’t have a support network to fall back on it’s important to take steps to develop new relationships. However you may be unaware that people with bipolar disorder can attract unhealthy relationships.

In a previous post I discussed how loneliness can lead to unhealthy relationships. If you’re interested

please click below:

Join a Bipolar Support Group:

It helps to spend time with people that are going through the same thing. You can benefit from other group members sharing experiences and advice.


If you’re interested please click on the link below and join my new Facebook Support Group:

How Do You Manage Your Mental Health?

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Don’t forget to click on the link below to download a copy of my ebook if you’re struggling with self doubt and negative thinking brought on by bipolar disorder.

Sources: 

https://www.psychreg.org/why-people-isolate-themselves/