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Perseverance! How To Harness The Positive Of Being Stubborn

What Does It Mean To Be Stubborn?

Being stubborn refers to someone or something that’s determined to do whatever they want and refuse to do anything else.

Anyone or anything that’s stubborn can be hard to move, change or deal with. 

Consequences Of Stubbornness?

Being stubborn can be associated with negative traits such as:

  • Too Much Ego
  • Unwillingness To Be Wrong 
  • Hot Tempered
  • Self-Centered
  • Fearful Of The Unknown
  • Controlling
  • Overly Competitive and Defensive

Stubborn people can be rigidly attached to their beliefs, opinions, ideas and tastes. 

It becomes a major flaw when they don’t consider the opinion of others because they feel threatened by people who disagree with them. 

Also, they may see their stubbornness as having determination to achieve a goal, but instead it becomes a form of self sabotage. 

They’re so inflexible with working with others, not listening to others and an unwillingness to listen to their own bodies, so they end up making themselves sick both physically and mentally. Also, their personal and professional relationships are strained as well.

Can Stubbornness Be A Strength?

Despite stubborn people having a character flaw that’s often associated with negative traits, they can also have a lot of overlooked positive traits as well.

Some Positive Traits Include:

  • Knowing What They Want: Stubborn people know what they want. They know when to take action.
  • Being More Decisive: They know what they want and they go for it. However, they won’t rush to make a decision without exploring the pros and cons of it first. By doing that it’s easier to make an informed decision.
  • Having Clear Boundaries: Stubborn people have an unwillingness to compromise themselves if it involves putting them in uncomfortable situations. They know what they value and will pursue the things that are most important to them.
  • Being Passionate: Whether it’s something they believe in or someone they care about, people who are stubborn will fight to the end for what they’re passionate about. They have faith that their ideas are valid and their voices are worth hearing.
  • Prefer Quality Over Quantity: Some people prefer quality over quantity and they’ll change or move when the opportunity is a good one. For example they might be selective about who enters their social circle.

How To Turn Stubbornness into Perseverance?

Stubbornness is neither good nor bad. However when people are determined it can be reframed into perseverance.

Perseverance is the ability to keep doing something despite the odds. People who persevere are determined to accomplish something despite how hard it is or how long it takes to reach their goal.

People who persevere continue to work for change despite failures, while stubborn people refuse to change or recognize failures. 

It’s great when people know what they want, are decisive, have clear boundaries and have a passion. However, these qualities won’t allow them to persevere and accomplish their goals unless they overcome the negative aspects of stubborness. 

Here are some tips to turn stubbornness into perseverance:

  • Seeing Compromise As a Strength: Being able to compromise is a strength. When people are able to see the big picture and don’t always have a need to be “right” they’ll be able to persevere toward what they want.
  • Remind Yourself That You’re Not Always Right: It’s important for people to recognize that there are other points of view to consider other than your own. Collaboration and outside feedback from others can help you a lot in reaching your goals.
  • Build Rapport With Other People: Being able to improve interpersonal relationships helps. When people build rapport with others that have different viewpoints they might learn something from them, including a better way of achieving a goal or debunk a stubborn belief they may have held.

Here’s a link to my previous post about building rapport:

  • Keep An Open Mind: This is important, because people need to keep their minds open so they can absorb ideas that work for them. If they stay closed minded then they may be missing out on an opportunity to persevere.

What Helps You Persevere?

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Sources:

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/stubbornness-asset-downfall/767984

https://jobecker.co.uk/different-perspectives/being-stubborn

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/character-strengths-and-life-skills/what-is-perseverance

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Overcoming Self-Doubt (Part.2): Not Letting Self-Doubt Consume You

This is the second part of a two part series on self-doubt.

In part. 1 I discussed what it means to have self-doubt and its causes. Now I’ll be discussing ways to overcome self-doubt.

Some Self-Doubt Is Healthy

Some level of self-doubt is healthy; it’s ok to doubt yourself once in a while. For example, doubting a decision you have made and having second thoughts can broaden your perspective and cause you to be on the lookout for new ideas and possible solutions. Over time you might also discover and eventually confront things in your life that have been dragging you down. 

Why is it Important to Overcome Self-Doubt When It Consumes You?

Self-doubt can be consuming; whether self-sabotage emerges from your own fear of failure, denying your own sense of achievement due to your lack of self-kindness or believing you’re a fraud in disguise because of your imposter syndrome.

When self-doubt consumes you it causes depression, anxiety, lower self-esteem and mood swings that can cause a loss of concentration, feelings of indecisiveness, guit, shame and worthlessness. It may bring pessimism about yourself that causes you to avoid responsibility, isolate yourself and it can lead to phobias.  

It’s important to recognize that self-doubt has an adverse effect on your life and it’s important to break the cycle of self-doubt so you can overcome it.

How Do You Overcome Self-Doubt?

Here are some tips for overcoming self-doubt:

Connecting With Good Friends: People who are always doubting themselves are always criticizing themselves. It’s interesting that good friends can be an effective personality mirror. They can reflect things back to you that you may not see about yourself. Good friends are an opportunity to talk about what’s on your mind also.

Connecting With Yourself: When I’m doubting myself or I’m feeling anxious I write my thoughts on paper; whether I’m journaling, writing this blog or writing and publishing an ebook I come to new realizations about who I am.

Don’t Compare Yourself To Others: People who frequently doubt themselves tend to get stuck in a comparison trap, especially if you’re in the habit of comparing your success to others.

Stop Giving a S%^t What Others Think: This is a big one, because when you’re anxious and always doubting yourself you become preoccupied with what others think of you. 

Learn To See Setbacks As Temporary: We have all been at a point in our lives where we have a setback and we respond by seeing things through a negative and dark lens. However, it’s more of a benefit to you to think that setbacks happen all the time, they are temporary and we can learn from them.

Sharpen Your Skills: Sometimes self-doubt can be caused by a lack of skills in a specific area. For example, if you frequently doubt yourself before a presentation then it would help to sharpen your presentation skills.

Have You Ever Experienced Self-Doubt?

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If you are struggling to overcome negative thinking brought on by anxiety or self-doubt please check out my 5 Step Guide by clicking on the button below:

Sources:

https://articles.aplus.com/a/why-self-doubt-is-good-for-you?no_monetization=true

https://www.positivityblog.com/overcome-self-doubt/